A divorce does not necessarily mean you don’t get to see  your ex ever again. There are certain situations that might call for you both to cross paths. Mortgage payments and child visitation rights are just some instances in which this can happen. But this can be a problem if your husband is still hurt and angry from the divorce. It is important that you handle your affairs well to avoid any problems along the way. Dealing with your ex-husband after a divorce? Here are 5 smart ways to help you out.

Set Limitations

Anger comes to play in a divorce. Especially when one of the parties did not want it in the first place. If your ex-husband is expressing anger and aggression towards you, read him the riot act.

Set him boundaries. You are no longer married. Tell him you would no longer allow him use you as a door mat. Establish your grounds rules and stick with them. He has to agree to respect your privacy and right to live your life after divorce.

Meet a Therapist

If you do not feel comfortable in the presence of your ex-husband and his fiery anger, consider seeing a therapist. This is a different experience from a marriage counselor. You are both in a new relationship now. A therapist will offer an objective perspective on how to tackle the pent-up anger and frustrations emanating between the two of you. When it comes to dealing with your ex-husband you might need extra help.

Find Cause of Anger

As the saying goes, “there’s no smoke without a fire”. Find out where all the anger is coming from. Is it towards you or towards himself? He may be angry at himself for not doing enough to work at his marriage.

He might feel you gave up too easily on the relationship. And lashes back at you for not giving him a chance at repairing it.

It could even be his fear of living alone and not having you and the kids. Once you find the root cause of his anger, you are in a better position to talk and relate with him towards putting his anger behind him.

Don’t Stoke the Fire

If you have an ex-husband with a short fuse, the last thing you would want to do is set him off. If you are in another relationship, don’t flaunt it. Don’t pick fights. Don’t revisit the past and tell him you are happy you left him.

 Be courteous. Do your utmost best to keep your conversations brief and formal.

Heart to Anger Talk

Sit down and tell him how you feel. Remember the good times and memories. Make it clear you have no more affection for him and want to move on with your life. Suggest nicely, he should move on with his as well.

If you are made out of stern stuff, let him vent his spleen. Do not leave the conversation for another day. Let all that needs to be said be said. So that the next time you meet, you are on a clean slate of friendship.

.Against popular opinion, dealing with an ex-husband is not always a nasty ordeal. Things can work out if you know what to do and not push buttons.

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About the Author:
Deborah Banks is a conflict coach and divorce moderator. Learn how to deal with divorce problems and rebuild self-esteem. You can live a life of happiness and fufilment Recover From Divorce Today 
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