After a divorce, a woman can feel very confused, vulnerable and lonely. At the same time, her newly single status is accompanied by a sense of freedom that she has not had in a while. When these two elements are combined, it becomes very easy for some to get into another relationship on the rebound. Often, women regret these relationships and are faced with, yet again, having to detach themselves from an unhappy situation.

Avoid the Rebound Trap

The reasons that led to the divorce may vary in any one woman’s circumstance. However, one constant is pretty much certain in all cases. There was a loss of happiness and a general feeling of being unfulfilled. In some cases, a woman’s feelings of self-worth have also suffered tremendously, which can leave her looking for validation in all of the wrong places. As painful as divorce can be, many women seek the arms of another man to make up for what they feel they lost in their marriage. These relationships are popularly identified as rebound relationships and, more often than not, they do not last.

The reasons for these relationships being unhealthy is partially due to the fact that the woman needs time to get over the pain, grief and shame and get accustomed to her new life as a single. She needs time to make a healthy transition by focusing her energies on herself and identifying who she is in her new role. A divorce is a significant change in lifestyle and ample time should be given to making a full transition before complicating it with another relationship that takes time and focus away from one’s introspective efforts.

Getting to Know the New You

This is not to suggest that a woman must not socialize with the opposite sex post divorce, only that she should value the time immediately following to clearly identify for herself what her goals are as a single person, what her boundaries are in opening herself to a new relationship and what it is that she expects out of herself and the people that she will allow into her life from this point forward. It is also at this time that she must learn to value herself, her strength and her power as an independent, single woman who is able to take care of herself and enjoy life on her own terms.

It Is Healing Time

While no one can put an exact time limit on how long such a journey of self-renewal and dedication will take, experts advise that a woman spend at least a year with herself before embarking upon a new relationship. This time should be treasured as a time dedicated to nurturing herself and designing the lifestyle that she desires for the future. This time should also be viewed as a time of purging all of the baggage that bogged her down in her marriage and throughout the divorce, so that she can move forward with confidence and completeness. Women who take advantage of this opportunity find that they are empowered to make better selections in their choices for companionship when the time is right. This means that they can then enjoy quality relationships in the future without repeating mistakes of the past.

Vanaja Ghose (www.leavingyourmarriage.com page_id=5) is a Professional Life Coachhelping women who chose to leave their marriage or long term relationship and now want to powerfully recreate their lives. Vanaja helps people create a new relationship with money that propels them to take action and stop being an underearner. New Teleclass series starting soon:www.leavingyourmarriage.compage_id=192

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