The feeling of being rejected in a relationship and divorce can deliver a huge blow to your ego, no matter what your age. But when you are older, you suddenly find yourself alone and single, but this time around it’s a little different. You don’t feel attractive and wanted. You don’t feel as if you could snag any handsome man who comes along.

Rather, you feel defeated and unwanted. You feel unworthy of love and genuine care. If your spouse saw you for what you really were, raw and uncensored, and turned you away, why would anyone else want you?

Are these your thoughts? Because if they are, it is time you made a serious effort to change them! Why? Because these thoughts can be all-consuming. They lower your self esteem and make it impossible to open your heart to someone else. Feeling rejected and unworthy can even lead to social awkwardness that prevents you from meeting others and going out on dates.

Simply put: rejection and the lowered self-esteem that comes along with it prevents you from moving forward with your life in a healthy manner. You remain trapped in the past rather than moving on to something new.

Love in the Future

If rejection has done a number on you, chances are you question whether true love will ever come your way again. You may not feel worthy of future love or you may have a closed heart because you want to protect yourself from being hurt again. These feelings are completely natural, but how you handle them will determine whether you grow old alone and closed off or in love with someone wonderful.

The first step is to open your mind to the possibility of finding someone new. You have to move beyond the feelings of unworthiness and realize that you deserve someone to cherish you, care for you, and live out your dreams alongside you. You deserve this, but until you realize that truth love will always be blocked from your life.

Moving Past Rejection

So, how do you move past the sting of rejection and open your mind to finding love in the future? It starts with understanding that the divorce was not a personal rejection. It doesn’t matter what your spouse said about you prior to or during the divorce and it doesn’t matter what caused the break up.

When you go through a divorce you are worse than a teenager with raging hormones. The mixed emotions flow through you with such viciousness that you lash out at your spouse. You say many things, many of which you really don’t believe in your heart to be true. This is where you have to place the personal attacks that your spouse launched on you: in the category of words spoken in anger and pain that are not true.

You probably don’t hold yourself accountable for the hurtful things you said to and about your spouse during the divorce, so you shouldn’t hold his words against yourself either. Put them where they belong as mistruths and move on.

It may also help to go to three people who love you and have them list the positive qualities that they see in you. Seeing yourself through the eyes of others will tell you what your essence is – and take you a long way to recognizing your own value.

Valuing and loving yourself will help you overcome the sting of rejection and open your heart to letting others love you as well. There is love and life after divorce, but you have to allow yourself to find it.

© Vanaja Ghose 2010

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About the Author:
Vanaja Ghose (http://www.divorcedtodazzling.com/about-2/) is a Professional Life Coachhelping divorced women and those who chose to leave their long term relationship, and now want to powerfully create a dazzling life.Download your FREE mp3 audio on “Nine Steps to Building a New Life After Divorce” and contact Vanaja for a free 30-minute strategy session at http://www.divorcedtodazzling.com/
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